Thursday, June 7, 2007

The Paris Hilton Technique

Want a "get out of jail free" card?

Warning: This doesn't work for everyone.


You have to be rich and famous.

You have to be spoiled and have a crew of people around you willing to make your problems go away.

And you need to be willing to skip a few meals.

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Paris Hilton was let out of jail Thursday morning, days after she began serving what was to have been a 45-day sentence for violating probation, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department said.

Hilton must wear a monitoring bracelet and remain at her home for another 40 days, said sheriff's department spokesman Steve Whitmore.

Medical considerations "played a part" in the decision to offer Hilton home confinement for the remainder of her sentence, Whitmore said.

He said privacy rules prohibited him from giving details about the medical issues, but celebrity Web site TMZ.com earlier quoted sources saying Hilton was refusing to eat much of the jail food served her.

I've always considered Paris Hilton to be completely irrelevant, a frivolous goof not to be taken seriously.

She's a nobody who's somebody because our twisted, celebrity-obsessed culture tells us we should be interested in every move of the heiress.

She's made a career out of being...there.

Well, I don't think she's irrelevant anymore. Now, she matters.

I take her release from jail very seriously.

Hilton is the face of flaws in our justice system.


If Scooter Libby doesn't appeal his sentence successfully, perhaps he could turn up his nose at prison food.

Perhaps President Bush could pardon Libby based on human rights concerns.

Yeah, that's the ticket. Don't eat.

Possibly the most terrifying aspect of this is that I agree with
Al Sharpton.

I'm scared.

No comments:

Post a Comment