Thursday, June 9, 2011

Leno: More Weiner Jokes

DEMOCRAT Anthony Weiner is still starring in Jay Leno's monologue.

Brett Favre, Eliot Spitzer, and Bill Clinton are also playing roles.

Jokes from Thursday's Tonight Show:

JAY LENO: It was so hot in Washington, everyone was sitting around in their underwear like Congressman Weiner. He finally felt at home.

Oh man, that story! Oh, please! This is the story that just won't go away. It gets worse and worse. You've probably seen this. It now seems there's a picture going around the Internet of Congressman Weiner's naked penis. And you can tell it's him because it looks just like him, you know? You know, if he was bald. I mean, you can see the resemblance.

Let me tell you how graphic this picture is. Even Brett Favre won't return his calls now. That's how bad... it's terrible.

You know, I mean, I don't understand taking... how many photos of his crotch did he take? You know, I don't have any photos of my crotch. I mean, I've got a couple of oil paintings, some sketches, sure, a couple of charcoals, but I mean, you know, I don't, really... No, it's awful.

See, I don't understand the way Washington works. Now explain this to me: We are not allowed to see bin Laden's death photo because it's too explicit; but our Congressman's penis, that's fine.

Well, the latest news is that Congressman Weiner's wife is pregnant. I'll tell you how creepy this is: When his wife first called to tell him she was pregnant, he said, 'Uh, who is this?'

Well, you know who married Weiner and his wife? Bill Clinton. In fact, Weiner called Bill Clinton and apologized. See that's when you know you have a problem, OK, when your sexual behavior has offended Bill Clinton. That's where you just go, 'OK, time to draw the line.'

Well, more and more people are now calling for Anthony Weiner to resign. But it's not all bad news. Eliot Spitzer said if Weiner does resign, he can join him on his show and they'll call it 'Weiner Spitzer.'

How many people feel he should resign?

(Audience applauds)

How many people feel he's doing a good job and this has nothing to do with his job?

(Little audience applause)

Interesting, interesting.

Now, as I said, Weiner is adamant now about not resigning. In fact, CNN caught up with him today on the streets and they talked to him. Here, take... here's the interview:

(Clip of actual CNN video, followed by video with CNN audio)



I don't want to see that member of Congress, OK? Thank you.

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