factcheck.onion

Yesterday, I discussed John Kerry's speech to the League of Women Voters in Boston on Sunday.

He claimed, "Leaflets are handed out saying Democrats vote on Wednesday, Republicans vote on Tuesday. People are told in telephone calls that if you've ever had a parking ticket, you're not allowed to vote."

It seemed to me that those accusastions had to be unsubstantiated, since concrete evidence supporting the charges certainly would have surfaced by now.

As James Taranto from Best of the Web points out, a possible source of Kerry's allegations could be an article that ran on October 27, 2004, just days before the election.

An expose on voter intimidation appeared in a newspaper called The Onion.

The widely read publication, which bills itself as "America's Finest News Source," is a farcical newspaper. IT'S A JOKE.

John Kerry, for all his sophistication and nuance, apparently doesn't get the joke.

The Onion, in "Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote On Nov. 3" facetiously revealed the GOP's efforts to get the word out that Democratic-leaning voters should make their voices be heard on Wednesday, a day after the election.

(Excerpts)

MIAMI, FL—With the knowledge that the minority vote will be crucial in the upcoming presidential election, Republican Party officials are urging blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities to make their presence felt at the polls on Wednesday, Nov. 3.

"Minority voters should make their unique voices heard, especially the African-American voting bloc, which is always a major factor in every election," said Florida Republican Party voter-drive organizer Mark Monreal, as he handed out flyers at a community center in the mostly black Miami neighborhood of South Farms. "That's why we put up hundreds of brightly colored banners featuring Martin Luther King Jr. and the 'Vote November 3' reminder. We needed to make sure they know when we want them at polling places."

...GOP committees in Ohio, Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, Oregon, and Florida have spent more than $3 million on pamphlets, posters, stickers, and T-shirts bearing such slogans as "Put America First—Vote On The Third!" and "November 3rd Is Your Time To Be Heard."

...Monreal said Republican volunteers will be available to drive minorities to polling places on Nov. 3.

"We'll even stay at home with them the day before, to help them prepare for the act of voting," Monreal said. "We'll engage in concentrated one-on-one tutoring the entire day, to make sure these voters focus on the important act of voting, rather than going outside, reading newspapers, or watching television."

Republican Party leaders expressed pride in what they characterized as a true alternative to other programs that encourage voting, such as Rock The Vote.
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I thought the laughs from John Kerry would be over after November 2, 2004. I was wrong. He has a plan. He continues to entertain.

Keep it up, John!

BRING IT ON!